David Cicerchi
What does it mean to be a leader? Many define leadership through concepts like influence, vision, or effective communication. While these are valuable perspectives, I want to offer a simple yet profound way to view leadership—one that is deeply personal, universally applicable, and grounded in the essence of who you are.
Let’s begin with a story.
The Wisdom of a King
There was once a king renowned for his wisdom. People believed he was all-knowing, the wisest ruler who had ever lived. A young boy, eager to outsmart him, decided to put his wisdom to the test.
The boy caught a butterfly and approached the king. Holding the butterfly in his hand, he asked, “Oh wise king, is this butterfly alive or dead?” The boy had a plan—if the king said the butterfly was dead, he would open his hands and let it fly away, proving the king wrong. If the king said it was alive, he would crush it, revealing the king’s mistake.
The king sat in silence, then gently responded, “Young man, whether this butterfly lives or dies depends on you.”
This story illustrates the essence of leadership: recognizing that in every moment, we have the power to shape outcomes, take responsibility for what is within our reach, and step into the fullness of our Unique Self.
Vertical Development: The Journey into Unique Self Leadership
Leadership is not a static skill set; it is a developmental journey. As we mature through stages of the Leadership Maturity Framework (LMF), we gain more freedom from egoic constraints, more spaciousness in the field of the True Self, and greater self-expression and sense of purpose. Each transformation from one stage to the next expands our capacity to express our Unique Self—our deepest essence and unique perspective—where we respond with our greatest gifts to meet the greatest needs of an ever-expanding circle of relationships and influence. Below I outline the stages of leadership maturity that unfolds our Unique Self.
Expert (Skill-Centric Leadership): At this stage, leadership is defined by knowledge, expertise, and the need to be right. While valuable, this stage is often constrained by rigid identity structures that limit the ability to see beyond personal competence. The sense of self is tightly bound to external validation and achievement.
Achiever (Self-Determining Leadership): Here, leadership expands to include vision, strategy, and effectiveness. The focus shifts from individual expertise to leading others toward outcomes. Yet, leadership at this stage can still be driven by egoic patterns—seeking success, control, and external recognition rather than deeper purpose and interconnection.
Pluralist (Self-Questioning Leadership): This is the breakthrough stage where leaders begin to question the stories that once defined them. They realize that their previous identity was shaped by external societal expectations and begin to loosen their attachment to the separate self. Spaciousness emerges. The leader becomes more present, adaptive, and open to multiple perspectives.
Catalyst (Self-Actualizing Leadership): At this stage, leadership is no longer about control, but nor is it about merely multiple perspectives—but about transformational co-creation. The leader moves beyond attachment to singular egoic stories (i.e. “achievement”, “egalitarianism”, etc.) and into a deeper alignment with their Unique Self—their most authentic and purpose-driven expression. They embody presence, intuition, and systemic awareness, leading not from a need to prove themselves but from a deep inner calling to serve the greatest good and to catalyze the emergence of others’ Unique Selves.
The Expansion of Freedom, Presence, and Purpose
Each transformation through these stages represents a progressive liberation from attachment to egoic constraints. As we move beyond the limiting narratives of the Separate Self (a.k.a. ego), we access more freedom—freedom to act from love rather than mere fear, from interconnection rather than mere self-protection.
With this freedom comes greater spaciousness in True Self—a capacity to hold complexity without being overwhelmed, to embrace paradox without resistance, and to respond to life with a deep, embodied wisdom.
And from this spaciousness, our Unique Self emerges with greater clarity of purpose. No longer driven by egoic needs, our leadership becomes an authentic response to the world’s deepest needs. Our influence expands—not through force, but through the natural power of presence, integrity, and love. We recognize that our actions impact and ripple out beyond anything we can measure or imagine, and so trust in the power of giving our unique gifts for the sake of something larger than ourselves.
Your Unique Self as Leadership in Action
Leadership is not about a title or authority. It’s about presence, responsibility, and contribution. In our personal and professional ecosystems—our workplaces, families, and communities—we each hold a unique perspective and set of gifts that no one else can offer in quite the same way.
Consider a redwood forest. Every tree, plant, and organism plays a vital role in the ecosystem. Remove one element—a tree, an insect, a fungus—and the entire system shifts. Similarly, each of us is an integral part of the systems we inhabit. Our presence matters, our gifts matter, and our ability to respond to what is needed defines our leadership.
Releasing the Stories That Hold Us Back
Yet, many of us struggle with internal narratives that diminish our sense of leadership: I don’t matter. I don’t belong. I’m not good enough. These are the voices of earlier stages, shaped by external expectations. But as we develop, we begin to question these narratives: Is this story really true? What if I am here to contribute something unique? What if I’m not a mistake, but intended to be this way for a purpose?
True leadership begins when we step beyond these limiting beliefs and into our evolving, unique contribution. The shift from Expert to Achiever, to Pluralist and Catalyst is not about changing who we are but about uncovering deeper layers of our true leadership potential.
Living as a Leader Every Day
To put it simply, regardless of where we are in our leadership development, to be a leader means:
Being deeply present in our relationships and work.
Listening to what is truly needed in a situation.
Offering our unique gifts without hesitation.
Taking responsibility for our impact.
Each day is an invitation to step into the next level of our leadership. Whether we are learning to challenge old narratives, align with our deepest values, or hold space for transformation, leadership is about becoming more fully ourselves.
An Invitation to Step Forward
I’ve seen firsthand how transformative this journey can be. Through coaching, workshops, and my own leadership path, I’ve witnessed people awaken to their purpose, shift their limiting stories, and step into a greater sense of aliveness.
My wish for you is this: May you discover your unique gifts. May you share them with the world. And may you be seen, valued, and uplifted as you do.
Because the world doesn’t just need more formal leaders—it needs you, fully alive, fully engaged, and fully stepping into your Unique Self.
Interested in catalyzing your leadership transformation and stepping into your unique leadership? As a certified Leadership Maturity Coach* and Unique Self Coach**, I use an assessment to determine your stage of development and provide tailored practices that awaken your next level as a leader so that you make a greater impact and step more fully into your Unique Self—which is the source of all aliveness, purpose, and meaning in your life.
*More information about Leadership Maturity Coaching can be found at www.verticaldevelopment.com
**Unique Self is a framework developed by Dr. Marc Gafni. More information on this framework and Unique Self Coaching can be found at www.uniqueselfinstitute.com
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